Monday 20 May 2013

ROTATING AND POINTING

ROTATING: If you are a dove and you have eaten so much that you feel uncomfortable and look uncomfortable, but still want to eat more, what do you do? The solution is simple. You stretch up a bit, and rotate your crop inside your breast. Round and round and round and round, then you stop feeling and looking uncomfortable, and you have made more space on the inside, and can carry on eating. At which the human who is watching is amazed and wonders how much more you can wrap yourself round.

POINTING: And if you are dove, and have a well-trained human, and you are inside his office and the outer door is shut and you want to go out, what do you do? If you just want to be very simple you fly down to the door, to the side where it opens (because you know which side is which), and look hopeful. Then if the human notices you will find that he will get up and open the door and you will walk out. Very simple. If the human fails to notice you, you fly up to his desk to get his attention then fly back down to the door. Also very simple.

But if you want to be really clever instead of very simple, and you want to get him trained to pitch of perfection, you perch somewhere and start looking about for the exit. That will give him the message that you want to go out. Then you will concentrate really hard and you will manage somehow to get across to him the idea that if he points down to the door you will look at him, and at his pointing finger, and after a while you will follow his finger and fly down to the door. Then he will open it and you will walk out. The human will of course be amazed that a dove can work out what a pointing finger means then follow it. You, of course, will fly off thinking, 'I bet that human is amazed that a dove can follow a pointing finger', when the truth is that the really amazing thing was that the human got your message that pointing would work.

'What took him so long,' you wonder as you fly off to your roost high in the trees. But you know the answer. Humans are not very smart. Why else would they like doves just because they are so very beautiful and like come and perch on them and be fed?